Home inspection and domestic harmony

If you think construction defects are serious enough to bring a house down, imagine what the communication defects they cause between spouses can do to domestic harmony. So before the first cracks appear in your relationship, it is worth understanding the connection between a home inspection (bedek bayit), domestic harmony and communication defects.

Home inspection from the inside out

It helps to know that the communication defects a couple develops around a home inspection usually stem from communication problems that were already there. Or, to keep the metaphor going: a couple struggling with communication defects over the external home inspection of their apartment should really run an internal inspection of their own relationship.

What does that mean? The fights that start once a home inspection turns up construction defects in the couple's apartment usually point to a clash between the partners' own beliefs, one that most likely predates the renovation and the decision to order a home inspection in the first place. Here are a few examples.

Home inspection and financial expenses

One of the most common communication defects between spouses is how each relates to money. Even the question of whether you really need an expert to carry out a home inspection can spark disagreement between spouses.

Party A may see it as an unnecessary expense, on the theory that the contractor will take responsibility if any defects turn up during construction, especially once an expert's home inspection confirms that everything is fine.

Party B may think safety is not something to gamble with, and that the inspection is worth the cost. Financial disagreements like this can spark unpleasant arguments and real clashes, and even spill into further arguments that have nothing to do with the inspection itself, yet are closely tied to these same communication defects.

Home inspection and responsibility

Another topic that cracks the relationship, tied to construction defects and the home inspection, is responsibility. Checking the building for construction defects can spark a serious argument between spouses over who was responsible for ordering the inspection in the first place.

One side may claim they trust the contractor, while the other insists you cannot rely on anyone, least of all a contractor who used no professionals and relied only on himself. Party A may accuse their partner of worrying too much and say the inspection is not necessary; Party B may call Party A irresponsible for wanting to move into the apartment after a renovation without an expert's home inspection.

Home inspection and mediation

As mentioned, a couple who cannot handle the tension of a home inspection would do well to run one on their own relationship. Most of the defects in a couple's communication likely come from a real clash between each partner's own truths and view of the world, and the only way through is to mediate that gap.

The one thing spouses need to remember is that a home inspection exists, above all, to confirm that what they got from the contractor is approved and meets standards. Whether you are going through a home inspection or a full renovation, you are a united front building a home together, and the experience should be as pleasant and communicative, and as low on tension, as possible.